the boy was here looking tired, sad, also hopeful. tugs on the heartstrings but i gotta do it. he talks about neil young, harvest moons ("i wanna see you dance again because im still in love with you"), leonard cohens growl, the state of the world, the latest drink. i'd be worried but he knows about bounderies, way too smart to fuck up majorly. he ( Read more... )

'long time no see ( Read more... )

so its almost christmas. how odd.
i dont know what happened to 2006, it just came and went. looks like im here to stay. the boy will be here soon. the lover will be entertaining other people. ahh, the joys of christmas in goddessland.

lots happened; all good for a change. days ago, ad acta, highly theoretical 'us' hopped/powerwheeled back on the old merrygoround. & so, the saga continues: the goddess and her foreign lover. great vessels on grand waters, cruising along accessibly. to me. rather nice thought it is -- beloved seas involved. strong personalities, clashing, reuniting ( Read more... )

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long hiatus ( Read more... )

so. the worst is over. hes sending emails. desperation. im letting him talk to himself. want him to suffer now. its deserved. so this shall be how it ends. fin. fin ( Read more... )

ok, i did it. met the boy. yes, hes my age. but still a boy. often find myself here. have since the wreck but even prior to it really ( Read more... )

cold, windy, chilly night. i was in bed, couldnt sleep for hours. now, the internets. sacred chimes dancing wildly outside my window. finished painting, unhappy with it. something's missing. in me as well. raincheck for the boy, didnt feel like it. & fab is off to the *other* olympics. by god, it makes me mad. resentful, even cynical. i want to ( Read more... )

love these polls. feeling entirely unwell otherwise. headaches with dysreflexia, no way to lay off the machine. no obvious cause for a.d., as usual. whats new though. the boy has been calling. im questioning his sanity for wanting to get into this. & am told not to. they're right. though the nagging feeling stays. why-why-why. whywouldhe. ( Read more... )